Love Story
by DedicatedToTwilight
Summary: A different end to episode 4x08 from Gossip Girl.


**Love Story**

He needed to let go. He needed to let go. He knew that, he agreed on it, so why was it so damn hard to do it? He loved her. So what? Once he let go, he could love someone else. Too bad he only wanted her.

He didn't dare to go upstairs, the cool air of a Brooklyn night keeping his anger from boiling over. Of course he was angry. She called, he came, and he got hurt. And it wasn't a one-time thing. That seemed to be the general pattern. Yet, he loved her. But she loved another.

'Dan?' she said from behind him, and he knew who she was even before he turned to look at her. Of course he did; he could recognize that voice in a crowd.

'What are you doing here?' He couldn't hold it back anymore. He was upset, and, maybe this time, she should know it.

'I walked.'

'All the way from the Lincoln Centre?'

'No, all the way from the Upper East Side.'

'Still, that is not what I originally asked. Why are you here? After our last conversation, I don't know what else there is to say.'

She fiddled with her hands, her eyes concentrated on her perfectly manicured nails. Clear coat, his favourite on her. Beautiful, classy, subtly sophisticated, just as she was.

'Actually, I can think of something,' she muttered, folding her arms and setting her sight on an insignificant something to the left of her. Dan remembered she only did that when she felt under pressure. 'After you left me at the top of the stairs, as I watched you leave, I realised that being with Colin was exciting, and dangerous. That something that you want only because you can't have; like chocolate, when on a diet. And when that happens, you completely ignore everything else around you, for example, going back to the diet analogy, that you could have a fruit salad instead.'

'Serena, you're here to talk to me about diets? Or, worse, Colin?'

'No, no, sorry. I'm just a bit nervous, so I ramble slightly.' If the circumstances were different, Dan would smile at the fact that she rambled, something she caught on from him, but it didn't come so easily to him anymore. His reason for happiness was gone.

'I came here to apologize. I'm sorry for hurting you, for taking you for granted, for not appreciating the fact that every time I need you, you're there. I don't remember ever being let down by you. I don't remember ever feeling alone, because even if we weren't on the best terms, I've always known that if push came to shove, you'd be there for me.'

His voice remained cold. 'Well, I'm glad you're aware of this. Now, if you don't mind, I would like to put an end to this day, so...'

'I ended it with Colin.'

He stopped for the briefest of seconds. Did that matter? Would that change anything? He wouldn't allow himself to think it did; she used the same phrase before she broke his heart all over again. 'Don't worry, you'll be back together by tomorrow morning.'

She looked away, tears forming in her eyes. 'Dan, I know you're mad, and you have every reason to be, but if you could just understand...' He could sense her voice starting to break, and his arms ached to hold her, comfort her, but his head screamed _'don't'_. So he didn't. No matter what his heart said.

So he snapped again. It seemed anger was the only form of emotion he was capable of showing at that moment. 'What? What exactly do you want me to understand?'

'I don't know...' She was crumbling, and it was his fault.

But he didn't stop. 'How about this? Do you understand the fact that last summer, before Georgina showed up with Milo, I was trying to buy a plane ticket to France to tell you I loved you and that I wanted to be with you? Do you understand that these past few weeks I've been trying really hard to forget you, but when you called and asked to meet at the Lincoln Centre fountain, the hope of getting back together shredded any moving on that I might have done? Have you got any idea that when I saw you kissing him, I suddenly couldn't feel anything anymore, because you destroyed my heart in that little instant? So, yeah, I think I have a _right_ to be mad right now.'

Tears fell, but she was strong. She was crying, yet she could still clearly articulate words, and Dan hoped never to hear the first four. 'You hurt me, too! When I came back from France, you were holding Georgina's baby and sleeping with Vanessa! Do you think that was easy for me? I've told you this before, I was in the process of choosing between you and Nate, and although it sounds so selfish, I wanted you to wait for me, because in the end it would have been you!'

'And I told you _this_, Serena; with some people, you don't have to choose. Relationships don't work that way; you either love someone or you don't. You know I would have waited for you. I waited for two years before we got together, and many years after we broke up. So I loved you, and you loved me at some point, but this choosing that you have been doing was between two people that you didn't have feelings for anymore.' It was like incontinence, only verbal. He couldn't stop.

She was starting to lose any confidence left, closing herself in. He wished he could take everything back, but the damage was done. He was hurting the only one he had ever truly loved, and that frustrated him even more.

'No, don't say that. That is not true...' she barely whispered.

Yet, against his better judgement, he kept on going. 'Then how do you explain that you got together with your professor, just when things got hard? You couldn't make up your mind, so you gave up. And it was easy for you.'

'No, it wasn't easy. I just...'

'Serena, what's done is done. I'm just frustrated that, once again, I allowed myself to be put in the same situation, where I do anything and everything for you, but you end up hurting me. I need to learn to stop doing that. To let you go once and for all.' He knew he would never let her go. He had known all along, and maybe it bothered him, but it wasn't something that would ever change.

When she spoke again, her voice was barely louder than a whisper. So soft, so quiet, that if he wasn't imprinting everything she was saying to him in some part of his brain and heart, he would have probably missed it. 'Dan, do you still love me? Do you still feel something for me?'

He sighed, and shook his head. In his mind, he laughed at the silly question. Out loud, he spoke the truth. 'As much as it kills me, I will always love you, Serena. But that doesn't change anything.'

'Why not? Why can't it be as simple as that? If you love me, then why can't we be together?'

His voice became louder, echoes bouncing off the brick buildings around them. 'Because I don't want to be the fruit salad, the alternative that you eat when you can't have chocolate. I don't want to implicate myself emotionally into a relationship where you're not fully committed. I remember what we used to be, what we could have still been, and if we can't go back to that, I don't want to have it any other way. I don't want to stain the memories.'

'We can go back to what we were...' she muttered, as if only for herself.

But he heard, and he couldn't understand why she didn't see his pain. Why she wouldn't leave him alone, to suffer without her. 'No, we can't. You don't love me the same way anymore.'

She tried not to show how affected she was by those words, but Dan could read her better than anyone else in her life, and he knew better.

'If I didn't, then why would I stand here right now, having this discussion with you?' she spoke, louder than before. Her hand moved to her cheeks, removing the traces of water that joined the corners of her eyes and mouth.

'Because you just separated from your teacher, you don't like being alone, and you know that no matter what, I'll be there for you.'

'If I didn't really love you, Dan, then why would I have broken up with Colin, when he gave up teaching to be with me? Give me a good enough answer, and I'll leave. Otherwise, just accept it that we have messed up countless times, but that doesn't mean we don't love each other enough to give it one last try.' He didn't realise she had stepped closer to him, and somehow, he was moving closer to her. And after everything that was happening at that moment, he was baffled by the fact that he couldn't say he minded the proximity.

He also couldn't answer her question. Because if he did, if he admitted it, then he'd lose, and none of the insults he had thrown at her that night would be justified. Yet, he'd gain so much more. He would have her back. His source of happiness, his greatest love. 'I don't know.'

'I said a _'good enough' _answer. That's not good enough for me.'

All she did was lean in and press her lips against his. Slowly, gently, giving him time to adjust. Time he didn't really need, because no matter how much his head screamed _'don't'_, his heart took over this time. He snaked his arms around her waist, pressing her closer to his chest. They both knew she belonged there; in his embrace. Her hands moulded around his face, something that she always did. He felt her heartbeat against his chest, and it seemed to awaken his dormant heart, which tuned to the rhythm of hers. Her falling tears sprawled on both their cheeks, and he rubbed his nose against them, wiping the soft surface clear, making way for other fresh ones to fall.

He united their foreheads, and she smiled, her eyes boring into his, capturing his gaze as she always did.

He closed his, suddenly overwhelmed by the wave of emotion catching up with him. 'God, Serena, you have no idea what the hell you've put me through.'

She stroked his cheek. 'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.'

'If you ever leave me again, I don't know how I'm going to survive it. You can't get out of it now. This is our last shot; we either sink or swim. And I really want to swim this time.'

She kissed his face, hoping to tattoo what she was telling him there. 'I'm here now, and I'll stay here, okay? No more screwing up; I'm done with that.'

'Good, even if no matter how many times you've done it before, I'm still so in love with you, you impossible pain in my ass.' They laughed, the sound of hers a much too familiar tune to his ears. He embraced her, burying his face in her thick hair, just as she hid hers in his chest. He breathed in her scent; familiar – love, home. He was finally there again; where he belonged; with her.

When they broke away, before he kissed her once more, she took the time to say exactly what he wanted to hear. 'I love you, too. And you know what? I'll always prefer fruit salad over chocolate.'

He carried her as they made their way into the loft, where their story restarted. Their wonderful love story.

_**A/N**__: I don't know why I was so keen in writing this one-shot, but I liked the idea of Serena actually making an effort for Dan, and not calling him to come to her as in the series. I hope it's good enough for you guys to like, and please review to tell me what you think! Also, for those who have read my other FanFic, I haven't abandoned 'Vacation', I will update it quite soon! Thank you for reading! Xx_


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